I for one wanted to clear the ascribed definition of "Cougar Hunting" as there was debate going on at work, some claiming its older women after younger men or vice versa.

Since I'm recently guilty of going on a date with a man 9 years younger than myself, I felt the need to chime in my two cents. I had to seriously be convinced to meet him, but one must get back on the proverbial horse, or the fact is you may never get a good ride again.

I'm quickly going to give this older woman's take on it as I am single and young men are always sniffing around. I had a profile posted with my usual warnings to the old, bald and balding men, and god forbid any soft parts are pierced. I just can't work with that. What I wasn't expecting in such numbers, were the twenty somethings sending me invites to join their network when I pretty specifically state I don't do younger men. Their favorite line is "they don't care about age, its never a problem with them."

It's a problem with me on so many levels. First and foremost, they don't have anywhere near my experience to please me in bed, and  to quote Napolean Dynamite ,I'm not wasting my skills on them and I'm not talking  bow staffs and  numchucks. Some privileges  just have to be earned, and only more experienced men can truly appreciate an older woman.

Communication. The last thing I need is some guy with a phone attached to his thumbs texting me all day. If they could drum up a reasonable conversation, I am willing to bet it can't be conveyed on a one inch screen. If you want to impress me, manage to dial my number and speak complete sentences using proper grammar.

We know when we are being hunted, and likewise in turn we can hunt you down and slay you, if we feel like putting our drinks down long enough to amuse ourselves. I personally don't think I can be with a guy that I'm old enough to have been his..uhm..babysitter.

So for all the women out there, whatever you want to call it, my response is to go "Kruger Hunting." Uh huh. I earn a very decent wage but what the hell. Krugerrand has a decent trade weight -used to be higher, but then again so did my boobs. Things happen. Women have always been painted for years as gold diggers, but I think its time we update that term to make it more palatable. I mean not everyone has Krugerrand so it eliminates a whole lot of men on this continent.

I'm betwixt and between where I want to move to, and the way the current political race is going, I won't mind leaving the country. I thought about moving to San Francisco today but eh..too gay. Not as gay as San Diego, but I'm pretty sure if I moved west I'd cause the "Big One" just like I caused the Kobe earthquake when I sunk my investments into the Pacific Rim. Freaking 7.2 on the Richter Scale and pretty much the last time I put my money overseas.

But the home of the Krugerand is beautiful, especially Devil's Peak. I remember my brother's pictures from living there and no lie, it's the one place in the world where they love an American accent. Living expenses are dirt cheap and the dollar against the Rand? Ten thousand US today trades for 77,744.09 -down a little bit from 5 years ago, but still...it doesn't suck as the hunt for Krugerrand continues.

Actually I'm not limited to the shores of S. Africa, its just that they have incredible beaches. Friends keep suggesting US states to move to, but  I'm not going inland, bad enough to be 2.5 hours from the ocean. I love the North in the Spring through Fall, but I'm getting too old for driving in icy conditions. I don't care who you are, get your car stuck in a snowbank, and suddenly you're a cougar in the cold. No thank you.

 I want it all. I just turned 45 so I have to start thinking about where I want to be living when I retire. I don't want to wait and move later, if I do it now while the market is still great for buyers, and I can still afford to pay hot young things with rippling muscles to move boxes I will. I never said I didn't appreciate the young male form, I just don't have the patience anymore to deal with it. Could be from living with a middle aged guy, who still thinks he's in his twenties.  I watch with some fascination of the extents he'll go to find a woman and conversely the extent some women go to with the promise of everything to get rehab work done on their house. The biggest compliment he gave me the other day is that I'm not the typical woman, because I think like a man. Probably true or I wouldn't have come up with this idea to launch my own hunt.

Problem is I'd probably find my perfect place on the beach and some young buck would start sniffing around and annoy me and my whole Kruger Hunting idea would turn into me walking along the beach with a metal detector, looking for gold, of course after successfully conking him on the head with it.