I usually try to make my posts more generalized, and open to interpretation. Right now though, I'm in an awful mood and I need to vent, so for the first time since I've been writing in this blog, I'm just going to write about exactly whats going on. My ex-boyfriend is back in town and he wants to get back together. That would be fantastic under different circumstances. I told him about 3 months ago that I was still in love with him, but he obviously wasn't going to break up with his girlfriend, of course, and I didn't expect him to. My issue was that he was telling me that he loved me, and that he wished he was with me. I felt awful, I was the other girl, and I didn't like that, so I distanced myself from him. Now he's back, and he keeps telling me that he has a suprise for me, and that its something that we've been waiting for for a long time. I found out through a mutual friend that when he found out that he was comming home, he broke up with his girlfriend, and planned to ask me out again. Wait...this is what we have been waiting for? No. No no no. You weren't waiting for you to break up with your girlfriend, but you expected me to be waiting? Am I really that pathetic in your eyes? That you're choosing me after 3 months was some fabulous suprise for me? That I'd jump into your arms and say "Thanks love, for finally choosing me". Fuck no. If thats who you think I am, then you don't know me at all, and thats truly sad. ---- My father is an asshole. I want him to leave. No...I need him to leave. I need him to stop fucking with my life. His only concern is himself. He thinks about no one and nothing else. I wish I was exaggerating. There are some stories that I'd love to post, but I'd die if anyone I knew read them, they're far more personal than anything that I've posted, so I can't share. Everyone thinks that he's amazing. My mom and I are the only ones who really know him. In public he's a different person, and if I saw ONE bad thing about him to my grand parents, I'm the bitchy teenage daughter. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?! The only reason that my parents are even still together is that my mom and I need the money. Sad isn't it? Fuck life. Really though. |
