Nothing at all.

Random Words.

Thu, 01 May 2008 16:10:36 -0700

I usually try to make my posts more generalized, and open to interpretation. Right now though, I'm in an awful mood and I need to vent, so for the first time since I've been writing in this blog, I'm just going to write about exactly whats going on.

My ex-boyfriend is back in town and he wants to get back together. That would be fantastic under different circumstances. I told him about 3 months ago that I was still in love with him, but he obviously wasn't going to b ...

Your Eyes.

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:30:23 -0700

You don't have to look at me like that.

I know you fucking hate me.

...

HORRORscopes. Part Deux.

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:27:35 -0700

You sometimes put the needs of others before your own as you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. ...

Untitled.

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:24:17 -0700

I have never ever wanted more to be dead than I do right now.

Everyones screaming, at eachother, at me.

My father is refusing to say that he loves me.

Because he wants a God damned social life.

Fucking bastard. I fucking hate him.

I fucking hate his family for fucking up my family.

I want him to choose.

But I guess that he has chosen.

...

Stranger.

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 16:45:00 -0800

When the hell did you become this person?

How the hell can I still be expected to love you?

Maybe you were always this person, maybe love is blind. Maybe it's only now, now that I've fallen out of love with you, that I am able to see who you actually are. Maybe you were never the person I loved, maybe I created that person and allowed him to live vicariously through you. Maybe this whole mess is my fault, but maybe, just maybe, it was all fucking you. ...

Hello Heartbreak.

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 16:20:18 -0800

I've had my heart broken three times.

The first time was when you told me that you wished it had been you who had been killed in that accident and not your friend.

The second time was when you failed to tell me about your new girl friend when you were making out with me on the weekends.

The third time was when you failed to tell me that you were sleeping with her.

You asked me tonight if I would ever consider being with you again. Of course I said ...

Camo.

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:56:47 -0800

I want you to know me.

I want anyone to know me.

& I want you to love who I am.

...

Dad.

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:54:47 -0800

I have to lock my dad in a room to get him to speak to me.

He gets mad because I yell, but its the only way that I can get his attention. The only time he looks at me is when I yell, and even though thats an "I hate you" look, its still attention, and thats what I need from my daddy.

Don't leave, I just want to talk to you.

...

Won't get better...

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 17:00:38 -0800

Don't be so hard on yourself,
You won't get better til you're worse. ...

Ruined Puzzle.

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:53:07 -0800

This ruined puzzle is beige with the pieces all face down
so the placing goes slowly.
The picture's of anything other than it's meant to be.
But the hours they creep,
the patterns repeat.
Don't be concerned, you know I'll be fine on my own.
I never said "don't go."

I've hidden a note,
it's pressed between pages that you've marked to find your way back.
It says, "Does she ever get him back?&qu ...

Warning: abandon ship.

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:41:48 -0800

As written in HORRORscopes: "You say that you love me, but I'm afraid to believe you".

RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

Note to self: trust your instincts.

...

Why do I love you?

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:35:25 -0800

1. ~~You don't lie to me.~~

2. ~~You have morals.~~

3. ~~We're always on the same page.~~

4. ~~We're at the same point in our lives.~~

...

10,294,328: ~~You love me.~~

I guess I love who you were, not who you've become.

...

Champagne for my real friends.

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:30:37 -0800

and heres to my best friend, for saying that the love of my life's new girlfriend has nothing on me. ...

I highlighted my favorite lines.

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 15:43:17 -0800

The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbid ...

Cycle.

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 14:04:31 -0800

Cry. Wish. Sleep. Wake. Cry. Wish. Sleep. Wake.
Shuffle. Repeat.
...

HORRORscopes.

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 13:56:09 -0800

Conversation between you and your loved one will flow today. Sometimes we may think we are talking; yet we have only spoken off the top of our heads rather than from the depths of hearts. Take time today to have that deeper conversation and encourage some real sharing. It will renew and strengthen the bond between you, and encourage you both to fall in love again.
Horoscopes; Horrorscopes
You say that y ...

Why try?

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 13:47:47 -0800

Why try to be happy?
You couldn't possibly allow that.
Why try to make something of myself?
You're always going to be an obstacle that I can't get past.
Why try to love?
You never taught me how.
Why try?
You're killing me.
...

I'm sorry.

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 11:12:21 -0700

I didn't ask for this life, I didn't sign my soul to this family. I know that I have more material wealth than most, but emotionally, I have nothing.
You've given up everything for me, and because I have many posessions, you are without, but I'm only here for you, I don't want to be here, I want to give up, run away, but for you, I stay.
I'm sorry I'm such a burden. I'm sorry that your life is unfufilled, because of me.
...

The Burden.

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 11:06:03 -0700

"I've given up everything for you."
Simple words in a heated arguement that haunt me to no end.
...

The Ugly Vase. Feb 15, 2007.

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 16:13:58 -0800

I am an ugly vase. I am completely empty, and waiting to be filled, with little hope of it ever happening. I am common, easily broken, easily replaced, and easily forgotten.
I cannot dazzle you with my wit, because I have nothing to say. I am expressionless, emotionless.
I am the artists first and only creation, he was afraid to fail twice.
...

I am you. Feb 15, 2007.

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 15:56:12 -0800

As I sit here tonight, I wonder how anyone could ever love me. I am no more beautiful on the inside than I am on the outside, thus I am not beautiful at all. I am not the type of girl who a boy brags about to his friends, nor am I the kind of girl whom he would want to take home to his parents.
I am nothing like my mother. I am not strong, I am not courageous, I am not skillful, I am not brave. I have not become the person whom I was seeking. I did not find my true self, my true sel ...