Sanity yet to be verified

Nan

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 02:38:41 -0800

I stole your grandmothers teeth one day,
put them in my mouth and run away,
she didn't really know what to say
and if she did you wouldn't understand her

( she cant eat chicken she cant eat beef
she only eats soup coz she got no teeth)

[Once upon a time she was 18 stone
but now she's been reduced to skin and bone]

...

Whole nuts

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 13:51:39 -0800

The funny farm is warm in the winter

It's a nice place to go,

You can eat as much as you want for free

as long as you dribble and shout he he.

They're my kind of people, I really fit in

My winter home is the looney bin

...

Oh crap

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 01:44:11 -0800

To cure my wife's* constipation i put a spider in the bathroom....she shits herself when she sees a spider.

(*The wife to which i refer is non existant....[thank fuck])

...

Ghosts

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 01:42:27 -0800

I keep finding white handkerchief's around the house. I'm not sure where they come from, but i have a theory as to what they could be.....Ghost shit.

No other rational explanation for it :~J

(I also have a muslim ghost that haunts me. I know it's a muslim because it wears a brown sheet)

...

Swatting up

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 02:13:09 -0800

We all hate flies, and we all have our own way of dealing with the little twats. The best way is to pull your trousers down, stick your arse in the air and wait for the wankers to land by your ringpiece (because as we all know, flies love the smell of shit). Then all you have to do is clench your arse cheeks together to capture the bastards.

It works for me :~} ...

Life hurts

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 02:30:03 -0800

You extracted my love
and grew it,
deprived me of the results
and made me pay for it,
sent me to hell for the hell of it.
Where is the logic?
where are my children?

..........................................

...

The mad Welshman

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 02:48:31 -0800

I'm a redneck celt
short and strong,
although I'm vocally challenged
I fill the valleys with song.
I live in a tree
with my dog and his fleas,
I have a hat made of wood
and a coat made of leaves.
I dont like people
they dont like me,
I haven't got a wife
I like to be free.

...

Dr who?

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 08:21:50 -0800

I went to the doctors driving a hearse,

Walked in slowly dresed as a nurse,

I asked for a job but they said i couldn't hack it,

I ended up leaving in a straight jacket.

...

Another prick in the wall

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 05:46:14 -0800

I diddnt git no ejucaton coz pink floydd sayd not to. do yoo think i culld soo them! ...