Kenneth's Blog

My Advertures

Kenneth — 1970-01-01T00:00:00+01:00

1989 was a great year and in retrospect the beginning of self discovery. It was time to put forth the years of training that my parents so lovingly installed. Just five years out of high school and at the tender age of twenty three. I thought that I had things figured out. This particular year I was married by a Justice of the Peace, my honeymoon was a night at a "haunted" hotel in Santa Paula. Perhaps that was the cause of the beginning of the end for that short run at matrimonial bliss. Two days later I found myself alone in Los Angeles thanks to the efforts of my Army recruiter. I was being shipped off to basic training in Alabama for fun and excitement. For the next sixteen weeks Fort McClellan which is at the Appalachian foothills, was my home away from home. And if your definition of home includes a bunch of large Drill Sergeant's screaming at you for seventeen hours out of the day then let grandma pour you a nice glass of lemonade. After basic training I felt that I was a well adjusted and finely tuned man of war and I was sent off to my first duty assignment; Fort Benning Georgia, home of the infantry. And by the way I was trained to be a military policeman. Being an MP at an infantry post can be a hot bed of activity. On one particular evening I was dispatched to a barracks room where a fight had broken out between a couple of soldiers. When I arrived I found a young man, pants soaked in blood sitting in his room staring at some photographs. I accompanied him to the hospital so that he could be treated for his wound and I received his statement of what had happened. This guy got a beating because he wouldn't get off of the barracks payphone and others were waiting for incoming calls. As I was learning some valuable life lessons in my new career choice I was summoned along with a few strong soldiers by President George Herbert Walker Bush. Off and away I went with roughly 150,000 of my closest friends, co-workers and allies to defend the regime in Saudi Arabia. As I stepped off of that plane into what we called the world's largest sand lot, the heat about knocked me off of my combat boot laden feet. The temperature on the tarmac was at a whopping 150 degrees. A couple of hours into my new adventure and fully strapped with my combat gear, weighing approximately 80 pounds (ruck sack, a duffel bag, Kevlar helmet, web gear, M-16 rifle and my 9MM pistol with appropriate ammo and I myself weighed in at a staggering 132 pounds of lean mean combat killing machine) I get that all to familiar rumbling sensation in my stomach that says "fool if you don't drop that gear you may in fact has some alien intruders in your olive drab briefs. Completing my dastardly deed and re-gearing up, I use my cat like instincts to cover up the "dirty bomb" I just dropped in the sand box. If things weren't bad enough, being a few thousand miles from home I have to bear witness to several large dung beetles pushing what I had just deposited along the sand carpet. Once me and my unit got settled into our new location I really can't say what was worse, the heat, the flies or the camels. Thinking back I would have to be inclined to say that the camel were the biggest nuisance. It was all fun and games when we would throw fruit out in the desert just to watch the camels eat. Lets just say that the camels had a veracious appetite and made their demands quite clear. I spent more time fixing my camouflage net then I did on recon missions. The camels would back right up onto the netting and start scratching their hind quarter. My adventure was short lived due to my reassignment to Istanbul Turkey. Let me get this out of the way, yes they do have "smoke" shops and prostitution is very much a part of life and it is legal. Now the way it was explained to me is that if women break the law then they pretty much have to work off their debt to society (prostitution) or spend their time in a barbaric prison system. And from what I've been told, again this is strictly hearsay, these women stand behind a glass wall and the men walk up and down the district and chose their poison. Brings a whole new meaning to window shopping. My assignment in Turkey was a custodial agent. I was stationed at a nuclear holding facility. Allow me to break it down, I was a private first class (E-3) and due to my age, twenty five at this time I was put in a position of authority in keeping the site secure. Life there was not kind, the first six months that I was there my worked schedule was not for the weak. I worked twenty four hours on duty (without sleep) then I was off twenty four hours. Mind you, that was for six straight months. I was not only in charge of my team (American Security Force) I also insured that the Turkey Army was at their post and alert. In the wee hours of the morning while guarding the site I would receive a telephone call from headquarters requiring me to authenticate my status. If I failed to correctly answer their encrypted code, a squad of F-16's would reign down upon us and annihilate us. They would think that we were taken over and we would end up as a red spot on that particular piece of real estate. From there I was assigned Back to Georgia but at Fort Gordon which is in Augusta. If your a golfer then you know that is your Mecca. Fort Gordon is were my life became simpler. That is when I was sent to the Military Working Dog Handler Course at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas. Training was six weeks where I became a human chew toy for the attack training portion. Good times, definitely good times. After graduation I was for ever known as a dog handler. When I returned to Fort Gordon I was assigned to the K-9 section where I was assigned to Rocky, a Belgium Malinious that was eager to bite as well as please his green handler. I'm pretty sure the dog trained me more then I trained him. After a couple of years went by I was told to pack my belongings and head on over to Korea. I was stationed right in the heart of Seoul which happens to be the capital. It's a quaint little bustling town with a population of at least say thirty five million people. Your ready correctly, I said thirty five million people. Good times in Korea though I really didn't care for minus thirty five degree weather. And a word of caution, if you find yourself there, do not ride a motorized scooter. You have the highest percentage rate of becoming injured or dead. If you are hit and even as a pedestrian, you become a speed bump or just another pot hole in the road. Other then that it is a beautiful country rich in heritage. There are many stories and other places that I have been assigned to during my ten years in the Army. It was very rewarding and a valuable life experience. After my military career I went full circle and returned to Santa Paula where I met the love of my life. I was working at the animal shelter and I noticed a new hire being shown around the facility. Later on in the day I noticed that she was spraying the exterior dog run and I decided to make my move. As I walked by she was at the end of her hose and I turned off her water and I quickly walked away. Later, after our relationship began she confessed that's when I peaked her curiosity. And that has been seven years ago and we are growing stronger and stronger.

Santa Maria Fireworks Show 2006

Kenneth — 1970-01-01T00:00:00+01:00

The fireworks show I do in Santa Maria each year takes days of preparation to achieve the spectacular results. For the past four years (2003 - 2006) the crew known as Electric Larry's Pyro Extravaganza has been specifically asked for by the fine folks from the city of Santa Maria to host their fireworks show. With explosive placards adorned on our Ryder truck and convoy we begin our travel two days before the big event. Paying special attention to the new D.O.T. regulations for transporting hazardous materials. Believe me when I say this; "We are on every watch dog list known to or by the US Government!" It's a beautiful thing, and what's nice now is that after doing this show every year for the past few is people start to recognize you and you hear personal stories how our shows have effected them in one way or another. When we arrive at the fairgrounds/race complex in Santa Maria we begin making contact with city managers and security personnel. I do have to say that the security company that the city uses is top notch. We drop off the truck and head for the hotel to check in. Of course the place has to have a swimming pool. The next day we head out to the shoot site and hit it hard and heavy. First thing we do is unload the Ryder truck; a gazillion PVC tubes and racks along with cleats, spools of electrical wire, ready box, hammers, nails, aluminum foil and it goes on and on and on.......Then we unload our coolers of soda, lunch and dinner items and of course snacks to keep us going. Now the dirty part, we need to make sure that there is no debris inside any of the PVC tubes, did I mention that there are over 500 tubes that need to be cleaned out? The debris is shell casings that get stuck at the bottom of the tube. The easiest way to remove the debris is to break apart a two foot board (cleat) and use it to scrape inside the tube to remove what ever is inside the tube that doesn't belong. A note of cause; we have to be careful of any poisonous spiders such as Black Widows and rodents nesting inside the tubes such as mice and rats!! Now we need to set up the racks into either rows or islands depending on what our needs are and what type of fireworks were purchased. Electronic shows are set up differently from hand fired shows. I tend to like the hand fire shows because of the difficulty and danger of it. You are close and personal with each and every shell were as an electrical show you (the shooter) are away from the area. I'm a very different person when hand firing, normally I like to joke around not when I'm hand firing. It's very serious business and exhilarating because once you set fire to the fuse you no longer have control. In this business there is a term called "flower potting" and that is a very bad thing. It doesn't happen very often and when it does it causes injury and possibly death to the shooter. If the shell is not properly made and or the lifting agent shifts then it is possible that the shell when ignited will only travel a few inches or feet out of the tube and explode. Very bad things happen with the end results of flower potting. If this happens during an electronic firing show there is still danger present just not as catastrophic if you were right there hand firing. Okay, we are setting up racks that will be for the three, four, five and six inch diameter aerial shells. we are also pulling electrical wires for the Multi-Shot Devices; in the business we call them "cakes." Cakes are considered a show in a box, instead of having a slow progression for individual fireworks shooting off, these cakes shoot out rapid aerial shots that come in different sizes and colors. Usually after the racks are set and completed the local fire department inspect our tubes and the angle of the fall-out area to make sure that there are no danger to the spectators and property. The day of the shoot we get out there early and begin placing the "product" fireworks shells. We pay close attention to color placement so that we don't have to many of the same going off together. This usually takes up to a few hours to complete. Then it's time to lower the shells into the tubes and if it's an electrical show we will wire them into the panels. That evening we all join together as a team and say a prayer before the spectacular event. We then go over our roles and check, check and re-check our set up. The show goes off in a blaze of glory and the spectators are cheering with their oohs and aah. The show typically lasts for 25 minutes and when it's all over and our muscles aches our noses filled with black powder we can't wait for the next show no matter how small or how big. We love this gig and will keep doing it for as long as we are able to. And my motto keeps rolling,...............Fireworks - It's a beautiful thing.

Crew chief; Larry Jensen, Asst. in Charge; Carolie Jensen, Crew Members; Jennifer Jensen, David Jensen, Freddie Jensen (do you see a pattern here), Crystal & Jason, And myself (Ken Ketterman) who I refer to as the Shooter Extraordinaire.

My litany list of events:
City of Vacaville, CA.....Independence Day
City of Santa Maria, CA.....Independence Day
City of Santa Maria, CA.....Centennial Celebration
City of Fowler, CA.....Independence Day
California State University Fresno - Bulldogs Football.....Sporting Event
Grizzlies Baseball Fresno - AA.....Sporting Event
Fresno Falcons Football - AA.....Sporting Event
Local High Schools.....Graduation
Clovis Church.....Local Event
New Years Eve.....Private Party