start of something new

been so long

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 19:25:11 -0700

wow its been awhile since i posted anything so i thought now is as good a time as any. well i started my new job in jersey and i like it. i been there for 3 weeks but i offically started yesterday. the money is ok could be better but i get taxed from both ny and nj so that sucks. i wanted to move ova to jersey so i could be closer to my job but im gunna wait alil while for that. as for me everything in my life is going ok could aways be better but cant complain. me and erica are doing fine w ...

tired but doing good

Sun, 04 May 2008 17:45:46 -0700

yes the title says it all im tired as hell. all i been doing is working then going to jersey to find a apt. i saw a few and i must say they sucked but erica found one and we went to see it today and it was soooooo nice. so i filled out the paper work and hope i get it!! lol. anyway i been good been spending alot of time with erica with the apt searching and just hanging out. i start this new job in jersey in 1 week so im excited about that. right now im about to lay down and get ...

hey

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:11:06 -0700

well before i start i wanna say that its hot outside and i hate heat so that means i hate summer hahhaha. yeah i know alot of people gunna read that part and say wtf but im a winter person and cant wait for the cold weather to return.

well as u all now i have sumone new in my life and her name is erica. we been spending alot of time together and i just enjoy her company alot. i guess u can say we mesh well. anyway on monday we had our first offical date. we went to dinner and ...

happy easter

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 19:12:47 -0700

just wishing everyone a happy easter and im sick so yeah my easter wasnt good lol. so happy easter to everybody and there families!!!!! ...

long time

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:33:35 -0700

yes i know its been a long time since i posted anything. well i been very busy with work and a few other things. i finally did my second interveiw for the job in jersey so just now waiting for the building to finish. i used to be in a rush to leave but im not anymore. wheneva there done ill be ready to leave lol. so ill be saving every penny.

as for shante man i havent really talked to her. shes busy im busy so we never have time for each otha. i do miss her cuz shes a good fri ...

wtf man!!

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:30:49 -0800

the first time i finally get so good sleep it gets messed up by my friend tony smh. im here sleeping and what do i hear him and his girlfriend fighting. i feel like going ova there and telling them to shut the fuck up but im to tired to get mixed up with those crazy assholes. heres a lil background on this guy. his a fucking moron!!!... thats it thats the background lol. i hear hes girl now leaving and he follows her and draged her back into the house. ok let me go ova there and calm those t ...

second interview

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 09:13:57 -0800

yay!!!!! i just got a call for my second interview!!! its on thursday. im one step closer to leaving this place and start sumthing good. i hope they can tell me when the building opens up so i can start looking for a apt. anyway monday i want to see shante so we can chill. we went to the mall to see sum ferret and yamil was there. it was kinda arkward having him there but for once i wasnt mad even when i saw them kiss. im not going lie i didnt wanna see that but i didnt get mad e ...

another tired day

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 07:43:13 -0800

yuppers im at work tired as fuck man. i havent slept good in 2 days but tonight im gunna go to sleep early no matter what cuz i cant go another day of not getting any sleep. on another note i got my schedule for my other job. ill be working sundays - thursdays 12 in the afternoon to 8pm hee hee!! i love that schedule cuz im not a morning person at all. i hate waking up early man, now i can sleep till 8 in the morning haha. i did my taxs this week and im gettin close to thousand bucks back so ...

todays my birthday!!!

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 07:47:16 -0800

yuppers im 25 years old. god im old haha. well todays my birthday and im not gunna do anything.im to tired and im alil sick so dont really feel like doing anything. so far today is pretty good i came to work and guess what i got a raise hahah yup so i guess thats my birthday present from my job plus todays is going by kinda fast so thats always a good thing. well thats about it still alil stress about certain things that im not gunna write about but im just taking that one day at a ...

she chose

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 11:54:43 -0800

yeah at the end she chose yamil. they are going to get married on march 3rd. even tho i know she was gunna chose him it still kinda hurts. but it was fun hearing that she stilled cared about me.i could sit here and write how pissed iam but that wont sovle anything. i guess i got my second chance and it wasnt good enuff so no regrets. i still love her and hope the best. see im not such a bad guy lol anyway wanted to share that with you guys so ill keep you posted ...

life

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:58:44 -0800

well i wasnt gunna write about this but its been in my head for so long so here we go. shante told me she cares about me and we been talking about getting back together but shes engaged to be married to sumone else. i guess you can say this is my second chance but i know at the end i dont think shes gunna pick me. deep down inside i wish she would. today we had lunch and i had fun. i always have fun when shes around. shes gunna come over to my house on wednesday and we are gunn ...

i got the job!!!

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 16:47:25 -0800

yup i got it but not as a hallman as conceigemaking more money haha. yeah im luck i guess. i did sumthing nice today i got shante an interview for trump. i put in a good word for her and she has an interview tomorrow. i hope she gets it. yeah so i guess thats my good deed for the day. anyway im gunna start my apt hunting soon and cuz the building sumwha opens up on march 15. well thats all for now so ill keep u posted ...

finally happening!!

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 09:37:07 -0800

wow its been awhile since i been on here so before i start let me say hello everyone!!!! lol anyway its finally happening i got my interview on monday with the building manager from the trump building in jersey city!!! yay!!!!!. im so excited cuz now its finally happening. they said i got the job already but im gunna make sure i get that damn job hee hee. anyway thats really been it. i been busy as all hell at the job upgrading everthing from computer programs to fob keys and just to tire ...

real tired

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 20:06:48 -0800

yes i didnt get no damn sleep lastnight!!!!. for today being a sunday it was kinda busy. i had one of my friends call me to come with him to the pet store to buy a mouse so he can feed his snake. so we got the mouse went to his place to watch it get eaten and then had nothing else to do. so we sitting there and i remember i had to do sum research for shante about a dog. she wants to got a yorkie and so since she did all the research for me when i wanted my ferret it was my turn to help he ...

getting old

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 11:09:05 -0800

yes another year is here which means my birthday is coming up!!!! yeah my bday is next month on the 8th. i really dont do anything for my bday anyway but this year i wanna do sumthing. i already started getting txts and calls from people wanting to take me out that day but i dont think ill go. i did however ask shante to hang with me so ill see what she says but i think shes gunna say no to what i wanna do. see i was sitting here thinkin about the past and said maybe for old time sake we can ...

another year gone.

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 06:55:30 -0800

wow i cant believe 2007 is almost done. this year went by to fast lol. anyway if i had to say anything about this year i would say it was the worst one of my life. i lost a wife ( but gained a friend ) lost a good friend to cancer ( tj ) and just havent by myself these past couple of months. on new years day i have to work so new years eve is gunna suck for me lol. no partying or drinking no ball dropping uggh i kinda sucks but i rather work anyway so its not a big deal to me. i will se ...

christmas is here!!!!

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:57:48 -0800

yup another christmas is here and im spending it at work but its ok i get paid alot to work today so its not that bad. yesterday i went to see shante and it was fun. we had lunch and exchanged gifts. she got me season one and two of bevis and butthead hahahahaha. i used to watch them when i was lil so it was funny to ...

good day

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:20:02 -0800

today i woke up and felt that today was gunna be a good day and it was. today is going by so quick that its almost 230pm and to top it all off my relief is here haha. i made over 500 in tips and i got a free bottle of black label damn im gunna get drunk this weekend!!!!! we also had a party for the workers and that was fun to. if i get this other job im really gunna miss this place. i haave alot of memories here and i would miss alot of people here just like they would miss me. well for ...

hello everybody!!!

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 12:21:20 -0800

hey everybody. im at work about to leave and felt like writing so here i go lol. today was stressful. everything that could go wrong did. i wont go into detail but i have such a headach its not even funny. i just wanna go home and relax but after work im gunna go pick up my new tv!!! haha a 40 inch song lcd that i got on sale for cheap. thank god for black friday lol. well i got all my gifts that im gunna give out all ready. i just got shantes gift today at lunch so im gunna wrap it ...

finally going

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 08:42:45 -0800

to visit tjs grave on monday morning!!! me and my friend are gunna go well hes gunna take me but he wants to pay his respects to. so its offical now. i have to go. i been thinking of what im gunna say and i have no clue but ill think of sumthing. im kinda scared of going cuz i dont wanna start crying or feel like shit cuz i really miss him. not even shante knows this but this week after work i went to the hospital he was in. i didnt go in tho but i took the trip there and just stared at t ...

thinkin

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 06:29:09 -0800

well where do i start?? well this past monday me and a friend dante where gunna pay our respects to tj but we didnt go. not cuz i didnt want to but cuz on sunday shante told me that theres no tombstone hes just buried. i know i shouldve went but i want there to be a tombstone at least i it sounds stupid but just want everything to be perfect i guess when i go to pay my respects to tj. i been thinking about him almost everyday since he passed. i really do miss him alot. yesterday when i go ...

todays the day

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 07:56:47 -0800

they buried tj . i didnt go i couldnt go. i just cant handle the fact that if i go he wont look at me or say hello or anything for that matter. i guess im not strong enuff to see him like that. i wanted to go bad so i can support shante but i think she wouldve ended up supporting me lol. i wouldve never guess that tj wouldve mad ...

not so good

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 07:05:25 -0800

i havent been doing good since tj died. i really miss him alot. i made a lil section for him on my myspace page. if anybody that knows of tj or his mother shante plz go to myspace.com/bxgladiator920 and leave a comment on tjs guestbook. ...

R.i.P Ta'Shaun

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 06:13:33 -0800

well the title says it all. this morning i got up turned my cellphone on and had a voice mail from shante. tj passed away lastnight. i dont even know how to handle this loss. i love him so much and now hes gone. i got to see him for the last time yesterday and i thank god for having the guts to ask shante if i could come and see him. he looked really bad when i got there. half of hes face was swollen really bad and he could hardly breath. i feel so guilty for not spending as much time with h ...

happy

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 07:28:36 -0800

well about two days ago me and shante started talking again. she sent me a txt saying how tj was doing and not to txt her back but a few hours later she txt me back and we been talking since. well i asked her today if i can go to the hospital to see tj and she said yes. so after work im gunna go and see him. im happy cuz i thought i would never see him again and really sad cuz i know this will be the last time i ever see him cuz of hes cancer. i dont know what im gunna do when i get over the ...

some good news

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 06:13:35 -0800

well yesterday i found out that my friend will just had a baby girl!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im happy for him and he cant wait to start taking care of her. she wasnt supposed to come till next month so shes still in the hospital. they gunna have a get together next month so ill be going to that. anybody got any good baby gift ideas??? lol. anyway thats all the good news i as of today so ill keep yall posted as always ...

sucks

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 07:00:01 -0800

before i start this i wanna say im a home person lol i rather stay home and chill with my friends then go outside since its cold now. well since im a home person i would think that i would like for all my shit that i like to do at home to work. well basically everything that i like to do at home is braking from the xbox to the computer lol. man i hate coming home and theres nothing to do but watch cable with we all know theres nothing on smh!!!! well it could be worst at least i dont have ...

my good deed

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 10:40:37 -0800

well im gunna start off with i dont even kno what i was doing lol but heres the story. theres a guy i work with named mike. now i dont kno this guy that well just hello and goodbye. well i walked by him and he looked sad so i asked him whats wrong and he basically told me the same shit thats been going on with me and shante has been happening to him but just not as bad as me and my ex. he sat there and cried telling me he doesnt want it to end. so he ask me to go to the store with him at his ...

gunna stop

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 10:52:45 -0800

well i sent my ex a txt saying sorry for stressing her out. i kinda thought i was helping her by making her laugh and visiting her. i do wanna be there for her and tj but i guess in a why if her not talking to me helps with her stress then im happy i can do sumthing. i told her that shes a strong woman that that no matter what happens to tj, tj will always think the same. i hope that put a smile on her face then her seeing my name pop up on her phone and getting mad. i told her that sh ...

tired and pissed

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 05:54:11 -0800

lastnight i didnt even sleep. how could i after everthing thats been happening? everything me and shante talked about saturday has been runing thru my mind and im starting to hate it. for the first time ever i think she really hates me. all i wanna do is be a good friend and be there for her and tj but why cant she see that what im doing is sincere? i know i made mistakes in the pass about him but should that affect the present now that i change and love her son like he was my own???? i d ...

happy birthday (update)

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 05:31:02 -0800

since i cant see him i guess ill just say it here happy birthday tj. wish i couldve seen you

update: i took a chance and txted her to ask if she can tell tj that i said happy birthday so i feel a lil bit better lol

...

dont even

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 11:03:28 -0800

i dont even get to say goodbye to tj on tuesday . i txted her this morning to make sure i was still coming and she told me not to and when i asked wy she said she thought long and hard about it and since i didnt see him in the hospital when we was together then i shouldnt see him now. i have to admit i was in shock when she s ...

over

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 12:07:08 -0700

i kinda knew this was gunna happen but didnt think it was gunna happen this soon. me and shante arent friends and i think this time its for good. she txted me saying that she has alot on her plate and she cant be puttin yamil on hold so in other words that was we cant be friends or i should say we can talk but only on txt and i dont want that so i think i just did her a favor and just left. we were going back and forth cuz what do you say to someone that youll never going to see. so ...

helping the best i can

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 09:54:12 -0700

well i been trying to help with shantes stress since her son is still in the hospital and i hope its working. as much as i hate to say this but im starting to think that hes not gunna make it but i pray that im wrong. i dont wanna see anything happen to him. im talkin to shante now as i write this tryin to make her laugh with my foolishness hahaha its working so far or i think it is. lastnight she kinda brung up maxi again. she told me that she always thought i liked her. i told her hell ...

its funny

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 13:03:20 -0700

its funny today i get a txt from shante saying she read my blog and said sumthing about my date with my friend maxi. aint this sum shit. outta everything i ever wrote about shante and how i want her back and my family after yesterday me going to see her son and us having a good time she brings this up. she said that i should of told her. why??? its not like me and maxi was gunna start dating or anything it was just a date. she said she wasnt mad. o really well if she wasnt mad why brin ...

update

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 05:55:43 -0700

well i went to go see shantes son and things couldnt have been worst lol. at times like this i gotta laugh at some of the shit that goes down in my life. well before i started my 2 hour ride to the hospital i got a txt from shante saying she had some bad news. so im already thinking the worst. anyway i left my job at 345 and got there at 6. it gets better folks well im on the bus almost there i get a txt sayin that her boyfriend is coming but i have alot of time to hang with tj before he com ...

hi everybody!!!

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 10:29:32 -0700

damn im gunna start this post with a damn its hot comment lol. its already oct and its kinda hot today in ny. anyway im at work as always and nothings been happen that much. i kinda started looking for apts in jersey with shante on monday. nothing serious just checking the newspapers and her telling me which places are nice and which arent. today im gunna FINALLY visit her son at the hospital after work. she asked me if i wanted to come and i said hell yeah!!!! lmao. its been along time s ...

the waiting game

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 08:48:58 -0700

well i handed in all my paperwork for this new job now just waiting for them to call me. well i had my building manager email the man who hires people and the next day he pulled me to the side and said that i got the job so im kinda happy about that but i want the guy to call me and confirm that lol. even tho i think i got it since my building manager said i did im still a lil nervous cause i dont want them to call me like no u didnt get it for some dumb ass reason. plus i want him to hur ...

busy as all hell!!

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 10:40:10 -0700

yup its been really busy these last two days of work. i finally got my resume and letters of recommadtions printed and signed!!! god thats been on my mind for weeks now haha. well im gunna give them to my boss either later on today or early tomorrow so he can give it to his boss. wish me luck people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...

still here

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 10:05:46 -0700

yup im still here. not like im going anywhere lol. anyway its been kinda busy lately which is good in a way. keeps my mind off of certain things. well i been tryin to get this new job for awhile now. its a hallman job at a trump building in jersey city. so i have to update my resume for that. i also got 2 letters of recommdation so that should help out. i hope i get this job man lol. what else?? ummm oh yeah friday me and shante talked for alil bit so that was nice. yesterday was her birth ...

wish i could forget

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 06:53:31 -0700

yeah i hate days when i wake up and feel sorry for myself. sometimes i let my feelings get the best of me and this is one of those times lol. im here thinking about shante and getting sad and i dont want that anymore. i guess some of the regrets i have our starting to get to me. i do miss her and tj alot and as i write this i feel really bad. i wish i could just press a button and forget everything man. sometimes i feel like going to her job and trying to get her back but id be a fool to ...

got a date tonight!!

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 11:19:44 -0700

yeah i got a date tonight with maxi. i called her and said we hardly see each otha so let me take you out so she said yes lol. so im taking her to city island so we can eat then to the movies. just dont know what we gunna see. ill let her pick something or does anybody know anything good playing??? im glad im doing something instead of just staying home thinkin of my ex specially when i know she aint thinking of me. anyway i cant wait for tonight to have some fun and ill let you guess k ...

better day

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 07:19:02 -0700

well i didnt get fired today so yeah its a better day hahaha. lastnight i slept so good man i didnt even wanna get up. i had a wonderful dream to. it started out with me just walkin in this park and someone jumpedon my back and whe i tured around it was tj. i was so happy to seehim i started tearing up. i give him abig hug and told him i missed him and the next thing to come outta his mouth was wheres tay lmao. tays my ferret by the way. anyway i asked where hes mom was and he grabed my han ...

long day

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 18:29:59 -0700

well where do i begin lol. first i havent had a good night sleep in a long time. second today had to be the longest thursday i ever had. i mean being at word when theres nothing to do sucks man. god i hate working on these jewish holidays. oh and speaking of my job i think i might get fired soon. to make a long story short a alarm didnt go of when it was supposed to even tho the alarm said armed on it and somehow thats my fault!!!! so when the alarm came on when i was about to leave my bos ...

final chapter

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 08:38:49 -0700

well i guess this is the final chapter in my life with shante. i txted her a while back and i kinda knew i wouldnt get a responce back but she txted me back just now. she told me the reason she hasnt txted me back is cuz she whats to move on with her life and she feels i should do the same. so i txted her back saying shes right which she is. i told her im happy for her but sad also cuz i wanted to spend my life with her. i would ask to be friends but id be just kidding myself. i told her fo ...

thinking

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 07:18:46 -0700

well i just finish reading someones post and part of it got me thinking. she was talking about being divorced and how her husband has someone new. i could kinda relate to that even tho i neva been married before. i myself lost someone i consider to this day my wife. but the part that got me thinking was her saying that she was bitter. in a way i can also relate to that. so many nights just thinking what could i have done to make things work or show that otha person that you are there for the ...

just when i thought i was guna get some sleep!!!

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 22:48:41 -0700

it is 1am right now and for the first time in a while i was sleeping good but .... my damn ferret got outta her cage and woke me up by licking my cheek so we could play hahahaha yeah it was cute but she scared the shit outta me. anyway dont u hate when u have one of those crazy dreams and u wake up like fuck i wanna know what happens next!! anyway right now im watch justin timberlakes concert on hbo and i gotta say its pretty good. i thought i wouldnt like it but its cool. that boy can dance ...

a poem

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 08:26:57 -0700

this is a poem a heard from a movie called atl. felt like sharing it with you guys. i think it was written by a man called antwone fisher. enjoy

Pleasure turns to the pain,
Of the lessons learned from the strain
Of the questions burned in my brain,
About whether to love is humane in its touch.
These thoughts are like salmon swimming upstream in the tears of your deceit. Fighting the current hurt that kills more than is created by the chaos of our intertwined e ...

another sleepless night

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 06:07:51 -0700

god i hate these types of nights. i havent slept good in a long time!! i guess i have alot of things on my mind like moving out and stuff like that. some reason i cant wait to move to jersey and start my new job ( if i get it lol ) already. jerseys gunna be a new start for me and cant wait for it to happen. anyway when i went to get dressed i went in my sock draw and saw that im missing like 10 pairs of socks, hmmmmm i wonder who took them. it was my damn ferret!!! lmao. she likes to hi ...

"venting post" love sucks lol

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:49:15 -0700

well love could be the best thing or worst thing to happen to you. i say this cause im still in love with someone i can never see or get back. i found myself txting her to see if we could be friends but she doesnt txt me back anymore and even tho i wish she would im glad she didnt. i guess once you find the one you wanna be with for the rest of your life you really dont wanna let go. see thats my problem " letting go " i think its cause i wanted everything she wanted but she tho ...